Chicken Champions T-Shirts

'Who else wants a piece of me?!'

'This chart illustrates how each of you will break into the industry.'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

The Rooster Comedian.

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'By golly, I think we've got ourselves a prodigy!'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'They call it the people dance.'

'This race is simply too close to call.'

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

Seminal moments in Chicken History

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

"How can you cross the road so decisively? I have to stop halfway across every time to rethink it."

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

'It's a kit I found online. I converted the car so it runs entirely on chicken manure.'

A bit of Newlyn.

"Babies come from WHERE?!"

'Who said you could come out of your room?'

Free Range Chickens

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

"Running of the the chickens!? This is crazy! Dad, no one celebrates Hispanic Heritage Month like this!"

'I never knew there was a common ancestor of man and chicken.'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

'How to make everything taste like chicken.'

A hen pushes a egg carton on wheels containing her chicks.

Chicken: the one-man show

'I'm really tired of hearing about her pious children, the angel food cake.'