Bird Champion T-Shirts

'Never shoot straight up.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

Polluted geese

Knight feeding his kids.

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

Bird Tweet.

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

Endangered Species: Belgian Ostrich.

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

Environment Friendly House.

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

No jay walking.

Peace Locked in a Cage

"Would you look at that! New rooftop gardens, new community gardens: maybe the human race is not doomed after all..."

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

Polly, want a cracker, but Polly need a glass of wine.

The One That Got Away

'I was up for a part in the Producers...'

"And another thing: What's that strange clicking thing you do with your beak?"

Penguin