Bird Show Judge T-Shirts

'He took the first prize at the bird show, He ate the prize budgie,'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

Piers Morgan.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Dog Show. He was this close to winning a ribbon until they subtracted points for his breath.

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

'Never shoot straight up.'

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

Most dog-like dog.

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

Best in Heat.

Simon Cowell

"Careful with Number Three. I hear she's a tough one to please."

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

'I love show biz!'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

"A few years ago they didn't even have a category for talking dogs."

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

'The ban of stimulants, includes St Bernards. The brandy keg will have to go.'

'Sorry, I already have a Dancer.'

'Sure I can do same day service.'

Crufts "If you can read this you are too close"