Bird Show Judge Gifts

'He took the first prize at the bird show, He ate the prize budgie,'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

New York Scatological Society

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

'Never shoot straight up.'

Best in Heat.

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

Most dog-like dog.

"Careful with Number Three. I hear she's a tough one to please."

'Sorry, I already have a Dancer.'

'Sure I can do same day service.'

'The ban of stimulants, includes St Bernards. The brandy keg will have to go.'

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

'I love show biz!'

"A few years ago they didn't even have a category for talking dogs."

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

'Why can't I ever lead?'

Crufts "If you can read this you are too close"