Agricultural Show Judge T-Shirts

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Piers Morgan.

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Dog Show. He was this close to winning a ribbon until they subtracted points for his breath.

'Sure, beekeepers bees' pollinate billions of dollars worth of crops every year, but what's their firepower?'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

Best in Heat.

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

"Are your chickens raised without the use of growth hormones?"

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

Most dog-like dog.

They're Brazillian!

Simon Cowell

'See, I told you this electric fence would come in handy.'

"Careful with Number Three. I hear she's a tough one to please."

'Sorry, I already have a Dancer.'

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

'This is one way to 'round-'em-up!'

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

'The ban of stimulants, includes St Bernards. The brandy keg will have to go.'

'Oh, I didn't know we had a mating call!'

'That's a definite 'no' to us being a zombie then?'

"A few years ago they didn't even have a category for talking dogs."

"We quickly realized it was fruitless trying to compete, so now we work together and sell blended wool..."

"Oh lord, I think we're in a Japanese horror movie!"

"Yes, but I'm not just any judge, I'm a TV judge."

Crufts "If you can read this you are too close"

A Pig Pen At The Cattle Show

'I'm not eating it, not if it's been genetically modified.'

"On advice of counsel...do not order the prime rib well done."

'First, wool. Then, lamb chops, Now they've got us creating antibiotics for them.'