Chicken Champion T-Shirts

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup,'

Chef with stuffed chickens as trophies.

"On behalf of Farmer Brown, I am proud to present Lucy with her "One Thousand Eggs" certificate: Congratulations!"

"You really like my arroz con pollo, huh?"

And the "double-yolker" award this month goes to Irma: three!

The Rooster Comedian.

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Silence of the Chickens...

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'By golly, I think we've got ourselves a prodigy!'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'Can he come out and play?'

'This race is simply too close to call.'

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

Seminal moments in Chicken History

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

A bit of Newlyn.

Free Range Chickens

'Who said you could come out of your room?'

'I never knew there was a common ancestor of man and chicken.'

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

Stonehens

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

Drink it! We've all had to sacrifice our kids for our careers in one way or another... And besides, you need the protein, Rock.

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'So, the egg WAS first.'

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

'How to make everything taste like chicken.'