Chicken Champion T-Shirts

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup,'

Chef with stuffed chickens as trophies.

"On behalf of Farmer Brown, I am proud to present Lucy with her "One Thousand Eggs" certificate: Congratulations!"

"You really like my arroz con pollo, huh?"

And the "double-yolker" award this month goes to Irma: three!

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

The Rooster Comedian.

Silence of the Chickens...

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'By golly, I think we've got ourselves a prodigy!'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'Can he come out and play?'

'This race is simply too close to call.'

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

Seminal moments in Chicken History

'It's a kit I found online. I converted the car so it runs entirely on chicken manure.'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

A bit of Newlyn.

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Babies come from WHERE?!"

Free Range Chickens

'Who said you could come out of your room?'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

Drink it! We've all had to sacrifice our kids for our careers in one way or another... And besides, you need the protein, Rock.

Stonehens

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

'I never knew there was a common ancestor of man and chicken.'

'So, the egg WAS first.'