Chicken Gifts

"It's that dream again where I'm being chased by an old guy in a white suit who thinks he's a colonel."

The Rooster Comedian.

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Silence of the Chickens...

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'Can he come out and play?'

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"It's a destination wedding invitation. We have to cross the road."

"Hurray! I just got born!"

'This race is simply too close to call.'

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

Seminal moments in Chicken History

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

A bit of Newlyn.

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

'It's a kit I found online. I converted the car so it runs entirely on chicken manure.'

Dogs and Chickens

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

"Babies come from WHERE?!"

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'