Chicken Pillows

The Rooster Comedian.

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Silence of the Chickens...

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'Can he come out and play?'

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

"It's a destination wedding invitation. We have to cross the road."

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Hurray! I just got born!"

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

'This race is simply too close to call.'

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

Seminal moments in Chicken History

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

Dogs and Chickens

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

A bit of Newlyn.

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'