Poultry Pillows

'Who was first?'

'I know I don't have much saved up, but I really need to retire before the end of the month.'

'Big deal, so you passed a kidney stone...think about what I do for a living!'

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

Hen Behaving Badly.

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

This could be interesting...

'The ultrasound looks fine, but I really don't think you should count your chickens before they've hatched...'

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

"I'll repeat the question! Does this axe belong to you?"

Missing.

'Well, yes, we are having you for dinner this evening, and, no, you don't have to bring wine!'

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

Turkey with an ax to grind.

"My investment adviser told me to go for short term capital gains."

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

'We start them working at a young age.'

Chicken Little's Cousin, Turkey Little: 'The Axe is falling! The axe is falling!'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'Let's face it George: We're not spring chickens anymore...'

Chicken just laid huge egg.

" I'm trying to produce a brick layer."

'Grandma, show me the chicken's nuggets!'

"Concentrate everyone! This question will be asked and you need to be prepared!"

"So how often do you have these dreams about the axe?"

An omelet waiting to happen

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

Trimming the hedge.

'Dang! I wish I had lips!' 'Phew! I'm glad I don't have lips!'

The First Frozen Embryos.

Billiards and cocks

Stonehens.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

'He turned out hard boiled.'