Poultry Pillows

'Who was first?'

'I know I don't have much saved up, but I really need to retire before the end of the month.'

'Big deal, so you passed a kidney stone...think about what I do for a living!'

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

Hen Behaving Badly.

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

Missing.

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'Well, yes, we are having you for dinner this evening, and, no, you don't have to bring wine!'

This could be interesting...

'The ultrasound looks fine, but I really don't think you should count your chickens before they've hatched...'

"I'll repeat the question! Does this axe belong to you?"

Turkey with an ax to grind.

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

"My investment adviser told me to go for short term capital gains."

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'We start them working at a young age.'

'Let's face it George: We're not spring chickens anymore...'

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

The First Frozen Embryos.

An omelet waiting to happen

Billiards and cocks

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Stonehens.

Trimming the hedge.

Chicken just laid huge egg.

'Grandma, show me the chicken's nuggets!'

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

"Concentrate everyone! This question will be asked and you need to be prepared!"

" I'm trying to produce a brick layer."

"So how often do you have these dreams about the axe?"

"It's a destination wedding invitation. We have to cross the road."

Free-Range Chickens

Chicken A La King