Cheque Chuckler Pillows

"Are you sure you've got sufficient funds in your account to cover this cheque?"

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

World of Cow.

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

tax

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

The Big Four debate banking ethics

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Keyboard in Heaven

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'It's bad news I'm afraid,we're asprins'

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

'What about change? Do you have any change in your pockets?'

Excess Baggage: If calories consumed on vacation don't count, then little creatures must sneak into your room at night to shrink your clothes.

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

'Bless you!'

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

"I'm sorry but a fat, guzzling wife cannot be classed as a consumable."

"I keep getting into a flap."

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."