Chemical Connoisseur Gifts

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

I see we're sharing the credit - you, for coming up with this remarkable broad-spectrum antibiotic, me, for giving it that distinctive cherry-lime flavor.'

"It's not the heat or the humidity. It's the sulfur dioxide, hydrogen sulfide, non-methane hydrocarbons and sulfuric acid mist."

"Are you wearing WD40?"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Scientist admires his structure of a dog

Sexual chemistry set

"We evolved from asteroids"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

Cheese Secret

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware Of.

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"Some genetic engineers we turned out to be!"

Moliere

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

Coming Soon! Taco Sphere

"For the hundredth time—I have no idea how to make crystal meth."

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

Charles Dickens.

C Day Lewis.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

Bleak House

'...then add some of the yellow powder to those blue crystals, heat it for a while, and see how you like it.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Confusion in A Jar.