Cheerful Spectator Gifts

Polo - Come on you Royals !

"Are you sure this sport is now drug free?"

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"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Men can show their emotions!

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

Bad business inc.

"For my next trick, I'll need a non-litigious volunteer."

"This is one time of year we count our blessings. . . and not our calories."

"Hillary Clinton feels that sinners stigmatises people, so from now on, we're to call you service users."

"I don't really follow sports. I just like how it looks."

"You are polling very well with the highly motivated 18 to 26 year olds who never vote."

'Yes, it does make his blood boil - I enjoy it'

Corkscrew

"He's come out of retirement!"

'Showed me up you did, the only one politely applauding and wearing a tie!'

'Taxes? They're a penalty for doing well.'

Sitting Room, Standing Room Only.

"In my day, this was our fidget spinner."

"I think he's the guy that invented glue."

Tea Party is near! REPENT!

VOTE HERE, 14TH PRECINCT, 'ABANDON HOPE, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE.'

"We're spending Christmas with our grandparents in the Land of Forced Smiles."

'Yeah yeah... we know they play in pain. I Live in pain.'

"In an election you pay attention, listen carefully, pick the candidate you hate the most and vote for the other guy."

'Who needs heredity and environment when you can get Government subsidies?'

"Sorry, no, I really don't care if your team wins."

Baubles

'Heads up!!'