Cheerful Party-goer Gifts

'I limit myself to just one glass of wine a day...'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I am so attracted to you right now."

The devil you know and his plus one

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

Peel poker.

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Masquerade

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Redhead

Carioca

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Blue Haired Lady in Ballgown

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.

Christmas sweater alternatives

Cheers

Leo McKern

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

"Aperitif?"

Down on Bourbon Street...

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

The Friday Night Olive Races Down at the Tribeca Martini Bar

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"I'm terrible with names, but never fail at fingerprint, facial or voice recognition."

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

"My compliments to the sommelier."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"