Cheerful Party-goer T-Shirts

'I limit myself to just one glass of wine a day...'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

The devil you know and his plus one

"I am so attracted to you right now."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Masquerade

Redhead

Carioca

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Christmas sweater alternatives

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.

Cheers

Blue Haired Lady in Ballgown

Leo McKern

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"...and what do you think will happen if you do attend the party?

"I'm terrible with names, but never fail at fingerprint, facial or voice recognition."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

The Friday Night Olive Races Down at the Tribeca Martini Bar

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"Aperitif?"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

Down on Bourbon Street...

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

"My compliments to the sommelier."

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."