Cheeky Gardener Gifts

They didn't leave you any carrots. Go ahead and eat their hostas.

'Honey have you seen my Viagra'

Garden Centre - Lies dormant during the winter.

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"We've invented a new word!"

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

Planting Bird Seed.

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Paving over the window-box

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Hydroponic Gardening

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'

Football fan

Clown watering his flowers.

'Anything else need tying up?'

Hipster Yard

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'