Cheeky Gardener Gifts

Garden Centre - Lies dormant during the winter.

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"We've invented a new word!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

Planting Bird Seed.

Paving over the window-box

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

Hydroponic Gardening

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Clown watering his flowers.

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Football fan

'Anything else need tying up?'

Hipster Yard

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

'I borrowed Timmy's model plane to crop dust the garden.'