Cheerful Gardener Gifts

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

"Relax. They're just crows."

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

Hydroponic Gardening

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

"I switched hobbies from tropical fish to gardening. I won't feel so bad if I kill a plant."

Mr. Potato Head raking up leaves.

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

Hipster Yard

'I borrowed Timmy's model plane to crop dust the garden.'

Matador face to face with a Toro lawnmower.

'Say when.'

'Honey have you seen my Viagra'

Planting Joy

'Try not to sit still for too long dear, the convulvulus is really rather virulent.'

'I thought she'd never shut up!'

"Well, it's a plan."

"If we make it greener on this side of the river, the wildebeests will cross here..."

'Someday, someone else will mow this lawn.'

Gardening for Beginners - 'Carnivorous plants don't like dog biscuits, I'm afraid!'

"Worm, how do you stay so humble and calm?"

"I don't get it. Mom's stupid vegetables are growing but the gumdrops I secretly planted haven't done anything."

'Low maintenance gardening'

"If he can't get Yard of the Month, he'd rather just burn it."

"Gosh,no wonder you're having problems with your vegetables,dad.Round cabbages next to pointed leeks is very bad Feng Shui!"