Cheerful Gardener Gifts

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

"Relax. They're just crows."

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Hydroponic Gardening

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

Hipster Yard

"I switched hobbies from tropical fish to gardening. I won't feel so bad if I kill a plant."

'I borrowed Timmy's model plane to crop dust the garden.'

'Say when.'

'Try not to sit still for too long dear, the convulvulus is really rather virulent.'

"Well, it's a plan."

Planting Joy

'I thought she'd never shut up!'

"If we make it greener on this side of the river, the wildebeests will cross here..."

"I don't get it. Mom's stupid vegetables are growing but the gumdrops I secretly planted haven't done anything."

Gardening for Beginners - 'Carnivorous plants don't like dog biscuits, I'm afraid!'

"Worm, how do you stay so humble and calm?"

'Low maintenance gardening'

"If he can't get Yard of the Month, he'd rather just burn it."

"Gosh,no wonder you're having problems with your vegetables,dad.Round cabbages next to pointed leeks is very bad Feng Shui!"