Cheeky Diner T-Shirts

"The chef said all the regular stuff is as special as it's going to get today."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"See? I told you my fish was undercooked!"

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"What fly?"

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

"Guac-A-Mole"

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

Road Kill Cafe.