Cheeky Cartoon Lover Pillows

'I'll be a little late, dear... I have to check out a loose end.'

'First the bad news Mister Pringle.You're going home today...

"We didn't have any carrots, but I found this in my Mom's bedroom."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

"Whose the new guy?"

Elephant ass selfie.

A Snowman checking out some products for blacken his teeth

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

"I think he just ashed on me."

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

"You'll go far...you think like a man..."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

'You'll have to install a ramp, sir -- you're discriminating against disabled birds.'

'... and make it look like an accident.'

'There's a conglomerate of malcontents here to see you, sir.'

'Mr. Putin, annexation of Crimea was nice, but wouldn't Ukraine, Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia also be nice addictions to your Empire?'

The Boom-Bust Cycle of Capitalism

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

'Oh, I hate when this happens! What do you do when you get a song stuck in your head?'