Checkmate In Court Gifts

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Bailiff."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

I love Basketball.

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

Arrogant junior barrister

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"This jury may not be swayed by any defense that relies on emotion."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

Two lawyers in a royal court

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'Well, son, the justice system depends on finding 12 people who are smart and impartial enough to judge the accused intelligently without malice or favor.'

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

Pinocchio and Partners Lawyers.

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'