Checkmate In Court Pillows

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Bailiff."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

I love Basketball.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Arrogant junior barrister

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"This jury may not be swayed by any defense that relies on emotion."

Two lawyers in a royal court

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

Judge

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'