Cheat Day Enthusiasts Pillows

"On this new diet, I'm allowed to cheat once a week. Tonight I'm sleeping with Andy from next door."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Lazy Octopus

Cat and mouse

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Catatonic

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

How the goat got square eyes.

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

'Chocolate never tasted so good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

Inactive wear store.

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

The Procrastinatorium.

"We've lost the remote."

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

It started with elasticated trousers and daytime TV...

A slow-moving predator, the couch only needs to eat every few years.

'Now that I have your attention...'

Bummer Time Streaming