Cheat Day Enthusiasts Pillows

"On this new diet, I'm allowed to cheat once a week. Tonight I'm sleeping with Andy from next door."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Lazy Octopus

American Idle.

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Cat and mouse

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Catatonic

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

How the goat got square eyes.

'Chocolate never tasted so good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

Inactive wear store.

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

The Procrastinatorium.

"We've lost the remote."

Bummer Time Streaming

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

It started with elasticated trousers and daytime TV...