Cheat Day Enthusiast Pillows

"If you must know—pizza, pepperoni pizza, and I'm going to relish every damn bite."

Gym/Tan/Donut

"I'm all for having a cheat day while dieting. However, you may be taking it a bit too far."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Lazy Octopus

American Idle.

Cat and mouse

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Catatonic

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

How the goat got square eyes.

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

"And try not to spill Daddy's Martini, Caleb."

'Chocolate never tasted so good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

Inactive wear store.

Festive squad

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'