Cheat Day Advocate Pillows

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

Happy Days Are Here Again

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

Ultra-lazy sloth

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

"He's an indoor cat."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

'Chocolate never tasted so good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

Even when it came to walking the dog Norman would take a relaxed approach.

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

Exercise vs Laxative.

"I just got the place feeling like home again and now it's time to go back to college."

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

Sewer Rats

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

Gym/Tan/Donut

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

Woman walking sausage dog.

"What's on the Bear Channel?"

We only asked him to switch off his mobile and he seems to have shut down completely,

"Hey, didn't I vote for you?"

"Still, a brisk walk can be just as effective."

"Tinkles where's Timmy?"

'He's certainly going to 'go large' with that lot!'

Olympics Couch.

"When good hamsters go bad."

"Go out and play, Norman—it's your job."

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

"Yeah, I'm just tired of the whole sunscreen thing."