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A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

Happy Days Are Here Again

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

Ultra-lazy sloth

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"He's an indoor cat."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

'Chocolate never tasted so good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

Even when it came to walking the dog Norman would take a relaxed approach.

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

Exercise vs Laxative.

"I just got the place feeling like home again and now it's time to go back to college."

Gym/Tan/Donut

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

Sewer Rats

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

We only asked him to switch off his mobile and he seems to have shut down completely,

"What's on the Bear Channel?"

Woman walking sausage dog.

"Hey, didn't I vote for you?"

"Still, a brisk walk can be just as effective."

"Stop doggin' it!"

Olympics Couch.

"Tinkles where's Timmy?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired of the whole sunscreen thing."

"I'm all for having a cheat day while dieting. However, you may be taking it a bit too far."

'He's certainly going to 'go large' with that lot!'