Cheapskate Fun-seeker Gifts

'Drive-ins are so expensive...this is much better than a drive in.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Even More Disciples'

Jesus breaks the bread.

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'What do you call money that slides off the collection plate?'

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

"Is that neat whisky?"

Sounds of the market hitting all time highs. . .

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Shareholders Meeting - I don't like the look of this year's annual shindig.

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

Cross Umbrella

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

'Fathers Day.'

X. O. Whaddaya say we take a break from tic-tac-toe for some hugs 'n' kisses?

Looks like another hostile takeover...

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Sod orf, midges...

Jesus Seals the Hick...

'We're giving the market three 'reallys', today.'

"Since when did they start putting perfume in aerosol cans?"

Cheesus

The groundhog, unable to see his shadow, goes in for a cataract operation.

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

"My children, Pastor. This is 'Forgive' and this is 'Forget'."

"Apparently shares can go down, as well as plunging into meltdown and spinning into free-fall."

"For a little extra we could have got Giotto."

'The only thing that matters now is inflation. . . Sometimes I wonder why we bother to have inflation at all.'

IRS. I made less money this year than last year because I spent six months filling out my tax form!

"You're thirty minutes late. Does that mean I get it for free?"