Cheapskate Fun-seeker Gifts

'Drive-ins are so expensive...this is much better than a drive in.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Even More Disciples'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

Jesus breaks the bread.

'What do you call money that slides off the collection plate?'

Sounds of the market hitting all time highs. . .

"Is that neat whisky?"

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Shareholders Meeting - I don't like the look of this year's annual shindig.

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

Cross Umbrella

'Fathers Day.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Looks like another hostile takeover...

Sod orf, midges...

Cheesus

'We're giving the market three 'reallys', today.'

The groundhog, unable to see his shadow, goes in for a cataract operation.

"My children, Pastor. This is 'Forgive' and this is 'Forget'."

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

"Apparently shares can go down, as well as plunging into meltdown and spinning into free-fall."

"You're thirty minutes late. Does that mean I get it for free?"

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

'The only thing that matters now is inflation. . . Sometimes I wonder why we bother to have inflation at all.'

"For a little extra we could have got Giotto."