Cheapskate Aficionados Gifts

Thrift: Have a face-lift, and keep the old face.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"Is that neat whisky?"

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

'Drive-ins are so expensive...this is much better than a drive in.'

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

"I've had a very trying day. I've tried on dresses, shoes..."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

Sod orf, midges...

"Since when did they start putting perfume in aerosol cans?"

"I've made a fortune and never used my own money. Hey, can you spare a buck?"

"For a little extra we could have got Giotto."

"You're thirty minutes late. Does that mean I get it for free?"

What's this about? The recession is devastating chain stores. Save our mall. They're the lifeblood of teen culture as we know it. What are your solutions? We're having a massive shop-in this Saturday! Shop 'til you drop. Big $$. Like a day of service? Exactly! But you'll feel even better about yourself.

'Money can't buy everything... that's what credit cards are for!'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

'Your House Wines seem rather pricey - d'you have any Bungalow Wines?'

"No luggage."

"It's your new IKEA store, sign here."

"'Less is more' doesn't apply to allowances!"

Phil would try anything to avoid paying hefty airport parking fees.

Thrift: 'Collect a smaller child than your own from school... It eats less and fits the old clothes of the previous child.'

"Hello, Mari...we brought you some flowers. No, they're not real... I thought artificial ones would last longer."

"... Oh, he's the fastest in the west alright... The fastest out of the saloon when it's his round!"

"What are we actually celebrating here tonight?"

"I'm maybe not the real Santa, but I'm the only Santa who would do it for the money your dad was willing to pay for the job!"

'Careful Artie, hidden fees.'

'After you. So courteous, he always lets me in first, so I have to buy the first round.'

'Okay, we'll meet six sharp, at the rail yard!'