Frugal Fun-seeker Gifts

'Well, this is goodbye, Joe -- my wife is making me get direct deposit.'

'Yes, he does tend to overcharge a bit.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'Even More Disciples'

"I like my steak well done."

Jesus breaks the bread.

'What do you call money that slides off the collection plate?'

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

Sounds of the market hitting all time highs. . .

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

'Does he do anything besides watch the money?'

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Shareholders Meeting - I don't like the look of this year's annual shindig.

'I could only afford a Yo.'

Cross Umbrella

"You know we could have eaten the same food at home for less than a fourth of the cost...so I guess the sixty-two fifty was so you didn't have to wash the dishes!"

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

"Page 1 is 'Best-Sellers.' Page 2 is 'Advice, How-To, and Miscellaneous,' and on the back is 'And Bear in Mind.' "

X. O. Whaddaya say we take a break from tic-tac-toe for some hugs 'n' kisses?

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."