Frugal Fun Gifts

Times get tough for the thimble.

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

Expensive greeting cards.

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"I guess I really was spending too much money on lattes."

'Till debt do us part...'

Everything for a buck.

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

'I could only afford a Yo.'

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

'How can I be your best friend when you're wearing a $250.00 pair of boots and I'm in my bare feet?'

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'

'After reaching new heights, the stock market closed early due to an oubreak of acrophobia.'

'You overpaid, but it's not enough to cover the 'Overpayment Surcharge Tax'.'

"If this doesn't work I'll turn on the heat."

"Time for thaw awkward father son talk. You know, the one about fluctuating interest rates and instability in the markets."

Things of the past...

"Remember when all this was free?"

"I think I finally understand inflation."

It's a joint loan, but don't tell my husband.

'Maybe so, sir, but our motto is, 'A penny saved is a lot of trouble for nothing.''

"Here's 15 cents. I assume you'll go into debt one day putting me through college, so this will take some of the guilt off my conscience."

"Must you do that every time I say interest rates are bound to rise?"

Pizza By The Slice