Frugal Funster Gifts

Eliminating gas spending.

Man with cut off jeans next to 50% off sign

"Thank you, but a latte costs 5 bucks."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'In order to fund your deferred compensation, we won't be paying you any salary.'

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

'I received your list of the type of company car you'd like to receive. The Maserati, Ferrari, Porche and Viper isn't possible, but there is a 1978 Pinto with your name written all over it.'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'Oh, wait. There's a note. It says; Fill her up with euros.'

'It takes great courage of conviction to know you're wrong, yet still proceed forward.'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Looks like your recovery has been slowed by a diet rich in Greece, followed by a bout of gas problems. Continue to take your QE and call me next quarter.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change