Fun-loving Frugalist Gifts

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

'I received your list of the type of company car you'd like to receive. The Maserati, Ferrari, Porche and Viper isn't possible, but there is a 1978 Pinto with your name written all over it.'

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"For Pete's sake, Helen, will you break down and buy a hair dryer!"

Electricity Bills

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

'I could only afford a Yo.'

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

How to do without

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

Bad times for retirees.

'I knew it was going to cost me when I noticed the mahogany tongue depressor'

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."