Chatty Canines Pillows

"I can tell he likes me because he keeps butt-dialing me."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"Have you tried biting him?"

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

ONE HORSE TOWN

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

'What is it Spot? What are you trying to tell me?'

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

Dog Messages

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

Dog in therapy.

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."