Chatty Buddy Pillows

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Getting together to chew the fat.

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Text Culture

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

Time for tea and friendship.

Peach flirting with a banana.

"I think it stopped breathing."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"I'd appreciate a little more reacting to my ranting."

'Do you come here often?'

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

White Wine Wisdom (2)

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

'It was a gift.'

Communication

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

"You just carpe, carpe, carpe."

Social media messages

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

"Honey, please don't talk to Daddy when he's in a chat room."

'I don't know much about Art, but i can tell you all about his wife.'

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."