Chart Watching Gifts

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Annual profits,

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

Emergency Hipster Beard

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

World Economic Crisis.

Economy - USA.

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

Business is off the chart.

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Soaring Profits

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'