Chart Follower Gifts

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Economy - USA.

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

ACME Balloon Company.

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Business is off the chart.

Soaring Profits