Chart Chaser Gifts

'Now that's the kind of 'outside the box' thinking I've been talking about.'

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'

"I've learnt not to worry."

"I see you brought the pie charts."

'And you'll be pleased to notice, sir, that we had to eliminate the top of the chart.'

Profits "...I suppose we could try and improve the product."

'And right here they merged...'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Oh silly me. Did I put that chart back upside down?'

"Susan!...are you trying to tell me we have an interface problem?"

'Okay, here's an abandoned storage locker with some random data that may or may not be useful. We'll start the bidding at $50...'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"I don't think I need to explain to anyone exactly what this chart means for us... but just for fun, someone explain it to me."

Stock Market Adventure

"Here we see the size of your portion, choice of toppings and cost per slice. If we're in agreement, I'll place the order."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"After months of analysis, all departments have concluded when you're hot, you're hot, when you're not, you're not."

"I believe the appropriate financial term is 'topsy turvey'."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'They're off the chart but we're tracking them on radar.' (BA Profits).

"For heaven's sake! You're retired. Give it up!"

'I would like to return this chart. It didn't perform up to our expectations.'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

'Oh yes, the market may fall, but trust me, we always land on our feet.'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

You Are Here

"Yes, we do have an incentive scheme - fall below that line and you're sacked."

"Our sales have come a long way in a short time."

'And this E.K.G. shows that the company is in excellent health.'

Have you hugged your money today?

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"I'll take that one."