Chart Chewer Gifts

Bicycle Pie Chart

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Uh-Oh..."

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"It's his ego growth chart."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'And right here they merged...'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

Pie Charts, Inc.

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"Oh, I can't complain"

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."