Chart Whisperer Gifts

"Yeah, everyone agrees on the numbers, but nobody knows what they mean."

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

"We have reason to believe there may be some volatility in the fourth quarter."

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"The bad news is it's all our clients' money."

Indicators - "Sorry, Crossley, I'm not happy - I can feel it in my bones."

Long and Short Term Investments.

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

"See that chart? Well, don't you believe it."

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

'It was gravity after this point.'

A group of businessmen read a profit chart that reads "Lousy"

"Uh-Oh..."

Man rotates profit chart so it shows growth not loss.

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

Financial Brain

Despite the economic downturn, sales are as good as ever.

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

Sales tied in knots

'What kind of God would let things like this happen?'

'Watson, I don't think you appreciate the gravity of the situation,'

"It's been a bit of a roller coaster year so far."

"Our sales have slumped so much, we now have a couch for them."

"It's seasonal, like the first gritters of Winter and the first cuckoos of Spring...the first pollsters of the election!"

"Dear economists, we need a decision!"

Caveman Sales

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

Concert Pianist.

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'