Charging Expert Gifts

"If it takes 4 hrs to change your laptop, 3 hrs to charge your tablet, and 2 hrs your phone, how many hours are you going to have to go without the internet?"

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

Cardiologist/Truckdiologist: Medical help for Trucks.

Home Heating Oil

"Maaaybe we could remove some of the electrons from our electricity and market both regular and premium grade."

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

The herd of hearing.

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Must you always be so negative?

"Before this I flipped houses."

"Give me a middle 'C', please."

"I think my front wheels are out of alignment."

Discussed on Car Talk

"The black flies go away when the mosquitoes show up."

Dept.of energy.

"I'll go, but only if you promise we won't stay long."

Car sign reads: 'How's my wife's driving?'

All charged up and nowhere to go.

Expert and Ex-Pert

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

'Here's your estimate. Still think it's a funny noise?'

Budget Car Service

"What caused that? Any ideas?"

"His battery anxiety has got out of hand!"

Great Deal Of Fund: Banana.

"My husband is a very good listener."

"You still working on charging that phone?"

Spring cleaning with the cat.