Charging Expert Pillows

"If it takes 4 hrs to change your laptop, 3 hrs to charge your tablet, and 2 hrs your phone, how many hours are you going to have to go without the internet?"

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"The official measure of an inch is three iPhones stacked on top of each other."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

Cardiologist/Truckdiologist: Medical help for Trucks.

Home Heating Oil

"Maaaybe we could remove some of the electrons from our electricity and market both regular and premium grade."

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

The herd of hearing.

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Let the profit-making begin!

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Must you always be so negative?

"Before this I flipped houses."

Discussed on Car Talk

"I think my front wheels are out of alignment."

"Give me a middle 'C', please."

Paul began to suspect that Charlene was just using him for his automotive knowledge.

"The black flies go away when the mosquitoes show up."

Dept.of energy.

Car sign reads: 'How's my wife's driving?'

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

"I'll go, but only if you promise we won't stay long."

Expert and Ex-Pert

All charged up and nowhere to go.

'Here's your estimate. Still think it's a funny noise?'

"What caused that? Any ideas?"

Budget Car Service

"His battery anxiety has got out of hand!"

Great Deal Of Fund: Banana.

I received an incorrect bill because the electric company didn't send a meter reader to my house. Unchecked power can cause problems.

"My husband is a very good listener."

"You still working on charging that phone?"