Chardonnay And Fries Experimentalist Gifts

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Ten out of ten for effort...

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'No creamed peas for me today!'

Interpretive napping

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

Funky Chef 2

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'Yes, there are a lot of stars, Son. Not as many as there are California Chardonnays, but a lot, just the same.'

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

"Let's start a new tradition! You're each responsible for one thanksgiving dish!"

Champagne Tasting.

Seriously, try leaving them out for a day. They're delicious al dente!

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

Kitchen Consultations

"Hmm, over-oaked chardonnay! My kind of wine!"

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

'You may indeed be 'under the weather', but let's just see if the 34 pints of lager two bottles of scotch and 6 Christmas dinners had anything to do with it.'

'What kind of idiot orders a triple anchovy pizza with no cheese?'

'Dad just loves your cooking, darling. It reminds him of the lab before they computerized everything.'

"Bring me a bottle of chardonnay and one long straw."

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

"I've crossed a potato with a sponge. You should see it soak up gravy."