Chardonnay And Fries Experimentalist T-Shirts

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Ten out of ten for effort...

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

Interpretive napping

'No creamed peas for me today!'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Funky Chef 2

'Yes, there are a lot of stars, Son. Not as many as there are California Chardonnays, but a lot, just the same.'

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

Champagne Tasting.

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

'You may indeed be 'under the weather', but let's just see if the 34 pints of lager two bottles of scotch and 6 Christmas dinners had anything to do with it.'

Kitchen Consultations

'Dad just loves your cooking, darling. It reminds him of the lab before they computerized everything.'

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

"Hmm, over-oaked chardonnay! My kind of wine!"

'What kind of idiot orders a triple anchovy pizza with no cheese?'

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

'Pass me the salt, parsley, marjoram, dill, coriander, fennel, basil, nutmeg, rosemary, thyme, oregano, and pepper please.'

"I've crossed a potato with a sponge. You should see it soak up gravy."