Chardonnay Charmer T-Shirts

Champagne Tasting.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'By golly, I think we've got ourselves a prodigy!'

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

You're the olive in my martini

"Check out this new store."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

"Ding" "Dong"

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

"Pie chart"

'I never knew there was a common ancestor of man and chicken.'

Too posh for Alderley Edge!

'Tasty.'

'Yes, there are a lot of stars, Son. Not as many as there are California Chardonnays, but a lot, just the same.'

The Perfect Garden.

Fat Man Viewing Pie Chart Thinks About Real Pie

Ralph has lots of animal magnetism.

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

"C major 7, F major 7. . . and that's been the story of my life."

Chicken singing romantic songs

'That's all right, dear -- I'll just pick something up on the way to work.'

"Hmm, over-oaked chardonnay! My kind of wine!"

'You may indeed be 'under the weather', but let's just see if the 34 pints of lager two bottles of scotch and 6 Christmas dinners had anything to do with it.'

"I think I'll report us to the Better Business Bureau."

Guitars

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

Sanitizer

'I practice my presentation before tomorrow's meeting and it gets him right to sleep.'

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

Sex and the Old City