Characters Connoisseur Gifts

Pointing in outrage

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'He likes to power nap.'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

The Trojan Beagle.

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

The Snarky District

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Emergency Phone.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Bangers and Mash