Characters Connoisseur T-Shirts

Pointing in outrage

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'He likes to power nap.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

The Trojan Beagle.

Happy Hour

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Bangers and Mash

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'