Character Connoisseur T-Shirts

Heaven

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Archimedes statue with a lever

"He's a guard dog."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

"Don't worry your majesty, they can't see you, this is a one way mirror."

Malcolm Sargent

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Take me to you lieder.'

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

'Love me little, love me long.'

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"Hey, would you mind taking a quick sculpture of me and my family?"

"Some Debussy, Igor."