Character Developer Gifts

"Please help me I'm bland"

The Computer Bore

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

Back to work...

Friday

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

"Wanna toss the ol' virtual pigskin?"

"You have word-ill."

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

Robot Grabber Arcade Game Machine

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"You're just gaming down there? Shouldn't you be issuing your first IPO for some billion dollar internet enterprise you've created?"

Go Play Outside - it's so real, you kids will almost smell the virtual fresh air!

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

Engineer on the move.

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

Computer hacker sends a rocket to Mars.

Sailor boy

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

"Sitar Hero"

"I know it's small and expensive, but wait till you see all the Pokemon."

'There's more to me than my books, you know.'

"Real estate values soar, cute boutiques proliferate, fine cuisine abounds. These are exciting times to live in Hoboken."

'Beautiful book. However, I'm afraid it lacks video game potential.'

"Gnork invented the wheel, Shnorz invented the hand axe, and my genius paints lines and circles. . . what do you want to do with it? Maybe building something where you can look at cat pictures? Hahaha!"