Chaotic Competitor Gifts

Two runners optical illusion

The Victors

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

Danth battle?

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

The Cricketer and the Golfer

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

Plane with banner shoots at another.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

Loser's Podium.

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

You're supposed to read him a bedtime story at HIS bedtime.

Skateboard Olympics.

A Man mixing up his sports.

Tug the Toggle

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

Little known trivia: Fred Astaire began tap dancing when he had loose floor boards, but no hammer.

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!

Umbrella fight.

"All As. What did you get?"

Who said, women are no-good at boxing?

Rugger.

Man coming home and kicking cat, wife asks 'Had a good match dear?'

Space Hopper Rodeo

Hmm...all the best!

Finish line.

'You can't call it a fluke after forty-three wins.'

'They're not a swimming aid - they're my feet !'