Restless Competitor Gifts

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Tension filled the tent.

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

Danth battle?

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

Workplace Shinanigans

The Cricketer and the Golfer

Office Competitions

'What a control freak!'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

A report on one-upmanship in TV newscasts.

"I quit."

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

Hat Wars.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

' Love and pole vault'

Quizzo tonight! Win a tee shirt! Trivia is my middle name, but I have all the tee shirts I need. So, tell me something: Are there Quizzo groupies?

'I won a prize for being the school swot. I killed more flies than anyone else.'

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

'This is doing your chances of winning the 'Golden Paper Clip' award no harm at all!'

"I don't get it. If he's no faster than me, how come he always beats me?"

"The Hare's demanding a dope test !"

A Man mixing up his sports.

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

Workaholic Ned Fulgum takes his first day off in over fifty-seven years.

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!

'What is it about 'Please, Dad, I beg of you' that you don't understand? FYI, my best friend Amanda's dad didn't chicken out.'

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.