Chaotic Comedian T-Shirts

'I said - it's his punishment for mindless violence and disturbing the peace.'

'George! This way quick!'

'I said just blow the bloody doors off.'

'Stuff falling out of the closet, old pizza turning green, dust bunnies blowing around...my room isn't messy, mom, it's interactive!'

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"Someone has stolen my identity crisis."

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

"And I suppose cleaning up after yourself just once would in some way stifle your precious creativity."

'Sunday in the park'

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

'Just hold on! Screaming never solved anything.'

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

How will this impact me?

The insurance giants do battle, ironically costing their own companies billions of dollars in claims,

"I'll call you back. I'm in a meeting."

"Listen up - today is the first day in the rest of the coronavirus crisis!"

Mime in an Emergency Ward at Hospital

2020 Panic Room

"I always put things off until the last minute."

'Careful - that new bed is a little touchy.'

Bear Market.

'If the global economy goes bust, there's a middle east war, and ocean levels rise. . .our 'Armageddon fund' will do just fine.'

Covid Juggling

Wallpaper over a door.