Chaotic Kid Humorist T-Shirts

'God bless mommy, daddy, spot, and that sports car I bought off the Internet with daddy's credit card.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

'George! This way quick!'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

"And I suppose cleaning up after yourself just once would in some way stifle your precious creativity."

'Sunday in the park'

"Well, could you give me a ballpark number?"

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

The insurance giants do battle, ironically costing their own companies billions of dollars in claims,

'It's not fair 'Bogie'...they took away my video camera...did you ever hear them say anything about not hiding behind the shower curtain and filming visitors on the can?'

'I don't feel that bad.'

Covid Juggling

'Sorry I'm late, staff

'Davey can't come out! He's got the weasles!'

'When did you decide to get all fancy and tie your shoes?'

Wallpaper over a door.

"Do you really think this will work?"

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'John's ,um wouldn't have heard if I had said please and thank you - she was too busy shouting for help.'

'Just where do you expect me to sleep? Your closet's full of junk and have you looked under your bed lately?'